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Thursday, June 15, 2017

She is a Child She Is Not To Blame


This is the continuation from where I left off at "He made my daughter get in the car." 

I just found out my ex-fiance had made my special needs daughter get in the car down at the bus pick up. By this point my nerves are shot. I had to make a decision and fast. Every bad scenario was flashing through my brain. I kept thinking what was I taught to do in case something like this happened. 

When my son came home, I told him to go to his room. He did not have to shut his door. He could listen to what I had to say to his sister but I didn't want him to say a word. As I wanted my daughter to feel comfortable enough to tell me what was going on. I could see the confusion on his face as he shook his head in agreement and went to his room. He left his door open.

Luckily, my daughter came strolling up the street before I could complete my thought process. Those few minutes was probably the longest minutes I have ever experienced in my life. Relief washed over me.


As soon as my daughter walked through the front door, I let her know we needed to have a serious talk. I started asking her the same questions I have asked her countless times before. Such as: Has anyone touched you in your private spots? Have you touched anyone in their private areas? Etc. All questions came with a swift no. Yet, I knew better because I saw the videos. 

I finally decided to get the point. I told my daughter,"I know what happen. I know he made you get in the car." She started crying. At that point she knew I was aware of what had been happening. I asked her what my ex-fiance said to her in his car. She told me he had told her to say it was Brain, his brother. Not him. I looked at her and asked her if she thought I was dumb as I started playing the video. I asked her if she thought I couldn't recognize my own daughter or what my ex-fiance's member looked like. 


I kept my voice calm the entire time I was questioning my daughter. She was crying and getting defensive. She started screaming I was blaming her. I quickly reassured her that I was not blaming her as I gave her a hug. That she was not to blame. That she was the child. He was an adult. He knew what he was doing was wrong. He did not care about her or me. He cared about himself. I did not blame her. As she was not the one in control.

I asked her if she wanted me to call the police. She said no. I asked her why not? As she stared at me I asked her if she wanted the same thing that happened to her to happen to another little girl because it would if we didn't call the police to stop it. She said no. She was scared. That is when I told her she doesn't have a choice. That I had already called the police. I was waiting for them to show up. My daughter ran to her room. 

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I am going to stop writing for today. I will continue tomorrow. This is therapeutic writing but it is hard and relieving the ordeal does take a toll on me. I am writing this in hopes to help others. Even if it is as simple as letting them they are not alone. If this is happening to you or your family. You must speak out and speak up to get it to stop.

All photos are from Pixabay.com, a free use photo web sharing website.

12 comments :

  1. Keep writing, the world needs to know how these monsters work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, the world does need to knwo how these monsters work. I tell everyone now to watch people actions, not words. As anyone can lie and make themselves look better than they are. Lord, knows this man was a great con.

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  2. This is very hard for you, for the whole family, but keeping it hidden away has a corrosive effect.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, it sure does. My daughter and I are both in counseling to deal with all the emotions and issues that goes along with this. I plan on writing ways that monsters like him will do in order to choose the victims.

      Delete
  3. Yes, keep writing. I want the world to know what a monster your ex is. Writing about this is very therapeutic.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, I plan to keep writing. As this monster literally sucked my energy right out of my family. I don't want it to happen to anyone else.

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  4. Sandy, as I'm sure this is one other he hardest things you have to do about writing your findings, I pray that it helps you and your daughter. She definitely was not to blame and I hope she realizes that. Hugs and prayers to you both as you relive this ugly side but may it be therapeutic and help with your healing process.

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  5. Sandy your writing is full of the pain that this individual has caused you. No one should have to go through what you are going through right now. Hug your daughter often and hug yourself too! You are incredibly strong and sharing your experience will certainly help others to recognize a problem before it become much worse. Blessings to you and your son and daughter. Hugs for all of you as you travel this heart wrenching ordeal.

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  6. It it horrible how so much of society wants to blame the victim. of COURSE she is not to blame, poor soul! I'm how happy I am that he did not run off with her while he had her in the car!

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  7. It must be very hard to write about it all but it is also therapeutic as you already mentioned. The world should now what this monster has done. My prayers for you and your daughter and also for your son who got to know what happened to his sister. May God help you heal your wounds.

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  8. Please keep writing, I can't imagine what you and your daughter are going through but the fact that you've wrote about this and told the world is such a brave and incredible thing to do. Be proud of yourself! x

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  9. Very sensitive subject.
    My ex has been in prison since Christmas 1999 and will get out in March 2020. Just think back on how old our daughter was when he molested her as she will only be 21 this year.

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