I noticed if I dwell on the negatives in my life. I start to slip down a slippery slope in my head. It is nobody's fault by my own. As I know I am in control of my own thoughts. Some days I find it easy to rant and push the blame on others. From personal experience I am a better person if I dwell on all things and people I am blessed with in my life. I am bestowed in life many blessing.
I have prayed for the Lord to give on me a best friend, someone I can talk to, be with, and do things with. He granted my prayer by sending me my boyfriend of three years. He doesn't like to see me upset. As it upsets him, when I am upset. I am blessed.
I prayed for a healthy daughter after I gave birth to two boys. I gave birth to a daughter who suffers from ADHD and ODD. Sometimes her world disrupts the whole household in ways that baffles me. My request was granted. I am blessed with a healthy daughter.
One thing I have learned no matter what I pray or ask for. When I am ready, I will receive. Not when I want it.When it happens, I know I am blessed.
I am working on having more patience. As with more patience, it has opened my eyes to see the blessing are in front of me.
Yes, I am disabled and cannot hold down a real job. Yes, I am living in a rental. Yes, I am homebound much of the time. As I have no vehicle when my boyfriend is gone on business. As he needs it to do what needs for our future. Yes, I might have to wait three or four days to catch a ride to where I need to go. Yes, I hurt when my boyfriend is away from me for so long.
All these things make me stronger. As I can see I am blessed. I have a boyfriend and family who loves me. I have a roof over my head. My family is not starving. I am learning patience is a virtue. Throwing fits doesn't get me anywhere but in life.
Next step is working to get over my pride, bow down and ask when I can not do things for myself on my own.